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the two most powerful words in the world.

A question from my inbox:

I get so paralyzed by what people think about me. How do I move beyond this fear? – J

If you look at the first cover photo on the Facebook page for Simple & Sacred, you’ll see it was published in September 2016, almost a year before I got up the nerve to launch this site and actually tell people it was here. Sometimes, even for work I’ve been doing for years, clicking “publish” and putting myself out there takes all the mental strength I can muster.

I can’t tell you all the things I’ve let this kind of anxiety keep me from doing – all the good work that’s been shouted down by the ever-present choruses of “am I good enough” and “what will people think?”

But it’s my husband who’s helped me to sing a new song over the last year or so, and the lyrics go a little something like this:

So. What.

I don’t know if it’s the fact that he’s the son of a master salesman who pressed on in the face of “no,” or that he’s a leader of a large team, or that he’s overcome a lot of obstacles and pain and people in the past to get where he is. Or maybe it’s just that he’s awesome.

But he’s teaching me (after 24 slow and stubborn years), to ask myself why it all matters so much.

He’s teaching me to say so what?

I might not be able to keep it up.
So what?

Some people will think I’m in it for me.
So what?

Some people won’t care what I have to say.
So what?

Some people will think I’m too fat or too old — I’m not pretty or perfect enough.
So what?

Some people won’t agree with my thoughts, or my parenting, or my practices.
So what?

Some people will think I’m prideful — that I talk about myself too much.
So what?

Some people might say mean things.
So what?

Really… so what? It will hurt? I’ll be angry? sad? embarrassed? What horrible, life-altering consequence comes after that? What reality in my life actually changes? What genuine love or truth is taken from me?

Nothing? Really?

Then so what?

What can these feelings do to me, in the end, that would be worse than not acting — not sharing — not living out of my best and bringing what I have in my hands to serve others?

I’m learning there is more power in one so what than in a million what ifs. I’m learning that moving beyond a life of people pleasing is not about setting new boundaries, but smashing through the ones you’ve built yourself in order to love others without fear or expectation.

Because here’s the hard and sobering truth:

I am running out of time to give what I have, and you are, too.

It’s scary to try. It’s scary to post this.

But so what?

 

 

 

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10 Comments

  • Kathy fox

    Kelly, I love you! your words, your inspiration, your honesty, your transparency, your love for God, the church, and your family – you inspire me to “give what I have”. So grateful to call you my friend.

    August 1, 2017 at 12:28 pm
  • Katrina

    I guess I need to start saying so what more often. Definitely sounds like there is more freedom in that than what ifs. I feel like I identify with this a bunch, always making excuses or conjuring up someone’s reaction in my head before I even say/do anything. Coming from this standpoint, I feel like I shy away from telling people about Jesus because I have already decided in my head that they are going to react poorly. Do I start saying so what to this and dig into this fear? What other advice might you have?

    August 1, 2017 at 12:50 pm
  • Sarah haas

    So, Kel… try this one on for size… in my mind you have always been one of the “cool kids”. One of the people I really wanted to “like me”. Some people I didn’t care so much whether they liked me, but Kelly Pinson?? She was cool. (Still think that, by the way. ) so I guess it’s all relative. And for what it’s worth, I always look forward to hearing what you have to say… and how you say it! (Lol – you have a unique way of your own. WAIT… that’s redundant…) I love what you’re doing here! Hugs

    August 1, 2017 at 6:32 pm
  • Whitney brogger

    Thank you for sharing this! Great advice and easy words to remember and to live by.

    August 1, 2017 at 7:53 pm
  • Jacki

    i absolutely love this! Thank you kelly.

    August 2, 2017 at 1:49 am
  • Angela buchanan

    So good Kelly. Thanks for sharing. very relevant for me right now. Love your beautiful blog that i just recently found. you are a gifted communicator!

    August 24, 2017 at 2:24 pm

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